I find comfort in repetition. When my schedule is turned upside down by life, the roll of the dice, or a mishap…I am discombobulated for a day and then I begin a routine. So the next surgery in February will be easier as we will both know what to expect. I went to the gym on Saturday and then grocery shopping. I walked the dog and graded some of my online student’s work.

I made a few runs to the grocery store for sugar free jello, sugar free pudding, instant mashed potatoes, more eggs, yogurt, soups, yams, etc. For myself, I picked up an already roasted chicken on sale for $5.99 at Winn Dixie and then made mashed cauliflower hoping the husband would be able to eat soon. He couldn’t yet and asked me to pick him up some instant oatmeal and melatonin. I was able to purchase ‘buy 1, get 1 free’ at Winn Dixie and got some great buys. I believe I am a Winn Dixie gal and not a Publix gal. The melatonin at 10 mg is helping him sleep. It also helped me get a full 9 hours of sleep which I really needed.

I am not a fan of grocery shopping and have been a little spoiled that my husband did the shopping since I am still working. To have some fun with it, I tried two different stores in two different areas. One was in the country and the people are very polite and the other is on the cusp of the city area. It is also near a plasma donation office and the parking lot was packed with people nearby on the sidewalks and hanging around outside at 8:30 a.m. I was afraid that I was going to be approached in the parking lot but no one approached me. Amazon is building a big facility soon, and apartments buildings are being build, on the high end, so eventually things will improve. I will confide that I sense a desperation in the people lately. I am not sure whether this always happens after an inauguration but the feeling is one I can’t put in words. There are many people hurting financially, I sense, and the others seem to be waiting anxiously. I don’t really like it, so I keep my eyes wide open all the time.

People seem to be a little more hardened. I was very encouraged that some of my co-workers asked about my husband’s health as they haven’t known me for very long…so that was very nice. I am still at the middle school until February and then who knows. I have been trying to adapt the carefreeness of the man I took over for at work for awhile. He told me the other day he had not found the teacher’s book after two weeks. I laughed and said, “Did you check the drawers?” And then in a fit of nerves, I confided, “I checked every drawer, straightened the closet, cleaned up….” because that is my routine when I am nervous. I clean, I organize, and I give away a few things. I watch the details and this calms me. For me, it beats turning my back and ignoring what is going on around me.

Oh, and I bake. Before the operation, I made a keto free cake using for the first time Swerve which worked really well with the vanilla cake frosting. I made cauliflower mashed potatoes. I have lost my appetite and I am hoping that Michael will get his back soon. He is down 12 pounds. I might be down 2. Like I said, the feeling in my part of the world seems off this week….my intuition watches carefully…or it could be the anxiety of dealing with my husband’s operation and trying to figure out the best way to take care of him. Knowing that I will have to go through this again in February. We will both have to go through this again. And then my online students are waiting until the last minute to submit work which means when I come home, I will have 23 papers waiting online. Classes are getting bigger for me as an online adjunct as they are combining classes to save a few dollars.

Like I said, things are not good but I hope they will get better. We shall see.