I was reading my mom’s journal from the 70s the other day about her day in the Catskills in response to a reading an article about how much free time housewives must have since they only work 5 hours a week. I think you will enjoy it! My mom enjoyed British tv, cooking, and a very dry sense of humor. I think you will appreciate your Monday more!

8:15 Round up laundry, in bed, on top of bed, under bed, on top of hamper, under hamper sometimes even in hamper. This replaces very efficiently my morning exercise with morning talk shows. Besides I feel a bit out of touch when last morning talk show I watched, suggested I stay tuned until they returned to tell me how to save my marriage. Masturbation.

8:30 Go to basement…..(about as ugly as being told to go to the devil) Start washing machine for first wash….empty mouse traps (I’ll never eat peanut butter and crackers again) all the time balancing on large rock because if you stand on wet, earth floor and start machine you are subject to electrocution (mind you it has never happened, but the last repairman who ventured down into the basement after asking about snakes (if you don’t pick up any of the rocks, especially the one you are standing on it’s okay and they are not the hissing kind) suggested it. Poke around in soggy, cobwebbed cardboard boxes looking for mason jars for neighbor. Decide basement must be vacuumed and cleaned this afternoon. Decide I must wash mason jars now, before I give them to her.

9:00 Answer phone. Could I please find recipe for sweet & sour tripe? This is time consuming albeit fun because my cookbook collection is huge and spread out all over the house and this is not one of your oft requested recipes. Decide bookshelves must be dusted and shelves arranged this afternoon.

9:30 Hang out laundry ¼ mile uphill (spouse decided clothes line was unsightly (so are some of our clothes) and should be hidden far away from house…also I could look at majestic view. In front of the view, are hose, rake, pitchfork, in hopes that someone falling over some will finish gardening chores before first snowfall. Put tools in shed, not snow but rain. Decide shed must be cleaned this afternoon while truck is still here.

10:15 Bring laundry in and out of rain and hang in basement after I have vacuumed everything including clothes line.
11:00 Show telephone repairman which wires must come down so which trees can be felled by the mighty George to be loaded on truck and loaded in the shed by the tired me.

11:15 Call George
11:20 Call Telephone Company
11:25 Call George back
11:26 Rescue telephone man from my amorous dog. I suppose it is better and easier than saving innocent caller from my vicious Billy goat.

11:30 rain stops. If ground dries, I can start digging up around nut trees, get plastic out of basement to cover windows from winter, finish turning over vegetable beds, dig more dirt to place around outside of pool which is slowly sinking into west of Sullivan County. If ground does not dry (it is important to have these alternatives) I could clean my barn of neighbors and relatives junk, load it on truck and haul it to dump. At various times, the barn has housed snowmobiles, motorbikes, formidable carpenters equipment, W.W. all steel truck with winch, boats, antique car that did not run, furniture too good to throw away but too ugly to use….none of which belonged to us. Oh, too, many wine bottles, all of which belonged to us.

Part 2 tomorrow……

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