I chose to show pictures of some very happy times travelling(2011) and later on some of our baking in our store. These pictures are of me visiting the Oman area. These were kind of carefree times for me. Michael was making plans to join me and we were going to do some travelling. We did do some travelling after the first year.
Michael is not feeling well with a bad migraine. I am learning the ropes of teaching online. Life is a lot slower now that we closed the store. I have always been so busy and in the past years so busy that now I feel uncomfortable with too much time. So, I am doing some writing or trying to finish a story I started, applying for some other online positions, and doing some things which I have never had the time to do. It feels awkward and uncomfortable at times but mostly I am happy that both of us are not under the strain of the store and baking.
I don’t know why people get cancer. I haven’t led as busy a life as my husband has with the military, a family, working overseas but I have led an interesting life. I have traveled to many countries, been in the military, met lots of people, and had some interesting jobs. Sometimes the only thing different from my husband and which was very beneficial to me was I always had a place to return to. When I drifted or faced challenging times, my families’ door was open to me. While my mom was alive, she was my greatest source of strength…when I left Manhattan in my 20s a nervous wreck, finishing my time in the Navy, returning from teaching in South Korea or my internship teaching a college class…until the day she passed away, she welcomed me and took care of me if not physically opening her door; she took care of me mentally by listening and emphasizing. I also had some very good friends along the way who opened doors and made me whole again. My husband didn’t have that with his family. He was raised by a distant father and a stepmother. He had some good friends but I don’t think he had that extra cushioning which tends to help in life. A family which takes you in when all seems lost.
I am trying to do the same for my husband now. Those summer months in the store when he was in the hospital; I fell hard. I probably should have acknowledged it and closed the store during that time but both my husband and I were taught to carry on. I listen now as he speaks with his grandchildren on the phone. I know they must appreciate him and one day, they may remember him taking the time to get to know them once again. And each day, they will begin to know me more as Grandma Eve. Maybe one day, I can buffer one of them against the storms life brings on by telling them, “Take it, on!”