Michael wrote this.  I borrowed it from his desk.  Funny. Write in if you think of another.  That way I know you are reading this blog.

52 reasons why I should have become a ditchdigger:

  1.  No degree required
  2. No continuing education
  3. No license or license test required
  4. No 6 week training session
  5. No quarterly performance reviews
  6. No phone headset
  7. No human problem solving
  8. No HR issues
  9. The ditch never complains
  10. When you are done, you clean up and go home
  11. No paperwork
  12. The method of doffing hasn’t changed since the caveman
  13. You don’t have to shower to go to work
  14. Your boss shows the place to dig and then leaves for the day
  15. No performance statistics
  16. You wear jeans every day, not just casual day
  17. Dress codes do not exist
  18. Your job is your exercise
  19. No fighting for a microwave at lunch
  20. No potlucks to cook for
  21. No cubicles
  22. You can spit at work
  23. No one cares if you skip washing your hands after relieving yourself
  24. Cursing is encouraged
  25. HR is miles away
  26. Your wife never has to ask “how was your day”
  27. Work stays at work.  Always.
  28. Parking is never a problem
  29. No security badges are required
  30. Promotion opportunities are irrelevant
  31. The ditch nor shovel car what your religion, color, weight, sex or literacy are
  32. No IT. Ever.
  33. No passwords or usernames to remember
  34. Passing gas is ok.  Almost a badge of honor.
  35. No elevators to wait on
  36. You never have to say ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’
  37. You never discuss politics or religion.  Just sports.
  38. Movies discussed never include Lifetime or Oxygen movies
  39. Your work associates could care less about what Oprah thinks
  40. You will never have to discuss shoes
  41. Sears and Home Depot are the only stores ever mentioned
  42. Only one side of the shovel works, and it doesn’t require a bulletin of instructions with periodic updates.
  43. I create rush hour traffic problems, not just drive in them
  44. Everyone can be called Spike and answer as if it was really their name.
  45. You can get most rainy days off
  46. You cannot export the job overseas
  47. It is easy to fix an error without affecting cost
  48. You can immediately see the results of your work
  49. You can either move the bathroom closer, or use the nearest tree
  50. No time clock
  51. All meetings are held at Joes Sports Grill and involve alcohol
  52. 15 minutes of work followed by a 45 minute break
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